Understanding

Trauma refers to the distressing emotional consequences of experiencing an extreme and/or dangerous situation (such as an accident, death, sexual assault, natural disaster or war). These situations can provoke feelings of powerlessness, extreme fear and terror, because the person is in danger and has no control over the situation.

Trauma is like an invisible wound caused by something you’ve experienced in the past. Trauma is a sign that whatever you’ve experienced is not normal. It is a normal reaction of the body to an abnormal situation.

Trauma can have a number of effects on our health, including tension, pain, sleep problems (difficulty falling asleep, nightmares, frequent awakenings during the night), anxiety and depression (negative thoughts, sadness). Traumatised people often relive what has happened (flashbacks and recurring memories), feel cut off from their emotions (as if anaesthetised or in a daze) and have difficulty concentrating. They are often in a state of high alert, doing anything they can to avoid reliving what they experienced in the past, and this can make it very difficult to live a normal life.

Other common symptoms include anger, isolation, alcohol or drug abuse, guilt, lack of motivation or hope, and mistrust.

It is important to seek professional help to heal from trauma. Having the support of other people is also essential. Seeking help is nothing to be ashamed of, because mental wounds can be healed in the same way as physical ones, even though it might take a little longer. Taking care of your mental health is essential in order to feel better.

Screens and the internet are part of our everyday lives. They are everywhere and have become a practical and fun tool for young and old alike. Screens can be used to learn, keep up to date, prepare for work and communicate with family and friends. They can also be used to pass the time and relax. Because they’re everywhere, it’s important to learn how to use them responsibly, rather than trying to avoid them altogether.

Sometimes there are shocking or violent images, such as those of war, crime or natural disasters. The impact of such content varies from person to person, so it is particularly important to ensure that children only view age-appropriate content. Children who have seen shocking images need to be given explanations of what they have seen, based on their age and maturity. Such images can also be disturbing for adults. It’s important to be able to talk about it with other adults you trust and to reduce screen time if the impact is too strong.

Excessive use of screens can have negative effects on mental and physical health, including fatigue, poorer academic performance in children or work performance in adults, and social isolation. Sometimes screens are used to escape problems or relieve stress, but this can cause even more stress or problems. It is better to focus on your interpersonal relationships by talking about your stress or problems with someone you trust, and to exercise regularly to reduce your stress levels. Above all, it’s important to learn how to use screens responsibly.

To encourage the appropriate use of screens with children, it is recommended that you:

• Set an example by following the rules yourself.
• Take an interest in what your child or teenager is doing online.
• Talk to them about what they are watching and keep the lines of communication open.
• Set clear rules about screen time and online behaviour.
• Encourage them to play in ways other than on the screen (for example, by playing board games as a family or playing outside).
• Talk to them about potential risks.
• Teach them how to use the internet responsibly (checking sources, fake news).

For more information, here are some recommendations for children and teenagers. A leaflet on screen use in early childhood and a flyer on children’s screen needs may also be useful.

It’s also important for adults to be aware of the potential risks, to find the right balance between screen time and other activities, and to discuss any shocking images with family and friends. As parents are role models for their children, it’s up to them to set a good example by using screens in a moderate and responsible way.

Being a parent can be hard work, especially during difficult times such as adolescence, when the parent-child relationship can become strained. These periods affect the whole family and can lead to stress, loneliness and doubts about your role as a parent. As a parent, it is natural to have doubts and fears, but these can be exacerbated if you are moving to a new country where you might feel isolated and overwhelmed.

It can be unsettling when parents and children don’t integrate at the same pace: the child goes to school, quickly makes new friends and builds a social network, while the parents are often left to fend for themselves. This can lead to tensions and misunderstandings.

Good communication and caring interaction with your children can help to support them. If they are exposed to upsetting information, it is important to have an open discussion and give them space to express their feelings. It’s also important to encourage a connection with their culture of origin, especially for teenagers searching for their own identity.

It’s good for everyone to have clear routines and established rules. By explaining the meaning of the rules and acknowledging your children’s efforts to respect them, you can create a safe but flexible environment.

It also helps to build confidence by encouraging children to express their feelings and acknowledge their successes. Family relationships can be improved by spending time together, listening and talking about any challenges. Taking time out to rest and socialise also helps to maintain a healthy mental balance.

Supporting a child or young person in their development is important for their wellbeing. It’s important that they feel supported and listened to. As a parent, it’s natural not to be able to do everything, but by paying attention to your child, you can face challenges and find solutions together.

Having to constantly think, plan, organise and anticipate daily tasks for yourself and others (children, partner, family) can take its toll on your mental health. This is also known as the parental mental load. It is therefore important to look after your own wellbeing and ask for help when you need it. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it means that you will be more emotionally available for others, including your family.

You can find more information on this website.

Our emotions are at the heart of our daily lives and our mental health. Yet we don’t talk much about them, especially those emotions that are perceived as more negative. Having the courage to talk about our feelings from an early age is essential for our wellbeing.

It can sometimes be difficult for both parents and children to identify their feelings. Being there to listen, to ask questions when things are difficult, and to work together on ways to manage these emotions can help everyone feel better. As a parent, being open about your own feelings can also set an example and encourage an open dialogue.

Learning a new language and discovering and adapting to a new culture and country can trigger a range of emotions, both positive and negative. It’s important to talk about the changes, the resulting emotions and what you can do to cope. Good communication and open dialogue are key to getting through these times.

Here is a list of the main emotions you may feel and a brief explanation of each:

Love

Love is a big, deep, magical thing. When you feel love, you feel full of affection and want to smile and enjoy life.

Joy

Joy is when you're happy about something, you're in a good mood and you feel great. It makes you want to play, sing, laugh or dance.

Anger

We feel anger when things don't go as planned or as we had hoped. We feel upset and want to shout or hit something to release the tension.

Sadness

Feeling alone, unhappy, wanting to cry, wanting to be comforted.

Worry

This is when you're worried about something or someone. You may feel sick to your stomach or have a lump in your throat.

Happiness

A state of wellbeing. You feel happy with what is happening in your daily life or at a particular moment; you feel deeply satisfied.

Serenity

Feeling content and calm, as if enveloped in a veil of softness and lightness, and life seems easy.

Shyness

Difficulty in expressing yourself to others. Shyness stems from a fear of what others might think of you. It makes you feel uncomfortable and makes you blush.

Jealousy

This is when you feel that someone else has more than you. It makes you feel bad inside, like a pain in your heart.

Fatigue

You feel sluggish and lacking in energy. Everything seems like a struggle. This can make you feel irritable or in need of rest.

Indecision

You are struggling to make a decision, hesitating and doubting, in limbo and don't know what to do. The state of indecision is very unpleasant and can lead to irritability.

Fear

When you feel threatened and think that something bad is going to happen to you. It makes you feel insignificant and weak.

Surprise

When something unexpected happens, it can bring joy or uncertainty. Your eyes are wide open and your mouth is agape.

Confusion

You don't know what to do, you're hesitant and a little lost.

Disgust

This is caused by things you find repulsive and helps to protect you from things that seem bad. We may make funny faces.

Shame

When you've said, done or felt something that wasn't right and you think people will laugh at you or blame you. You feel uncomfortable, weak, ridiculous and want to hide.

Pride

When you achieve something on your own or for the first time, you feel proud of what you have done. It gives you the confidence to try other things.

Frustration

When you don't get what you want or when you can't do something. This can lead to anger.